i tried to shine so bright
my skin started burning
won't stop, burning out
in cold i was turning
into a pile of ash
a pile of secrets
nobody will touch them
no one ever misses them

it was the longest winter of my life
but the coldest ice can be melted
with a smile, like rays of sunshine
sparkling in the snowflakes

blooming life is full of beginnings
i baked a cake for the first time
and taught myself how to grow
preparing for the first day of spring

you are a minute hourglass
living three minutes at a time
never precise enough
always upside-down

you can't really be pure
if you're bleeding of ideas
these hands like sieve
can only cause rain

there is no hollower look
than the one which you throw on
that spot on the floor
uncovered in water

i found a mushroom
growing on a fallen leaf
and i stepped on it
i didn't want it to know
how hard it is to live on
something that is dying
and it was easy to decide for it to end
because i knew that feeling
and yet the mushroom was still
connected to the leaf
and my shoe on the leaf
and the dirt on my shoe
and the dirt of everything
and everything i was ever mourning
or killing slowly
why is it so hard to eat the leaf
if the ground
will swallow it whole?

each star presented just for me
in a veil of branches, framed
i look for new perspectives
multidimensional worlds, but
maybe the freedom of a cage
is the view

are the saints glowing tonight over my window?
are these the angel's wings covering my point of view?
are they watching, silent, awaiting resolve
or are they pulling me towards eternity?

is it wrong to be wincing at the touch of a living,
the ones of blood and flesh like yours are?
i'm a stranger, twisting, stretched painfully
just asking for a little bit of empathy

to be a sail,
so pure and wide,
it needs attraction
distraction
while catching wind

needs glances down
on sailors hair,
a bit of sun
for satisfaction
a bit of faith

i am a non-believer
i trust in what i touch
waiting makes me shiver
and worship is too much
of chances to get fooled

when future is obscured
i choose to hide and watch

waxing passed me over,
i always seem to wane
trying to burn, discover,
i melt, leaving a stain

if vanishing means progress
i continue to fight
expected to light always
and yet still stand upright

i wasn't meant to be a statue,
a gargoyle on god's palace roof

i didn't mean to burn my halo
with poison gas and earth's disease
i was created with free will
but cursed to not do as i please

it's cold up here among the living
but the hell's concrete's always warm

this pond is too small
for the tiniest of dreamers
who knows of the stars
and how they should taste
it may swim in circles
won't go any deeper
it may only listen
what the sparrows whisper
and may always wonder
if a pond fish is blessed or
cursed with the world's reflection

nest fallen off the sky
won't know how to fly
only how to gaze up

flame born in the dark
will not know the light
only its own difference

river born in silence
won't know how to ripple
only how to run

people are talking but
their mouths aren't open.
i jumped to conclusions,
but my leap has fallen
too short! i keep calling
out! out of ideas!
only seeking problems
instead of ideals.

i've fallen in line, but
the line's almost faded.
in a house out of stones,
rough stone is degraded
the most! i am stalling
for time! to discover
if i am the rough stone
or house's prisoner.

trust in the hammer when it falls
it knows its way back down
watch the sparks dancing in your breath
they know just who to burn

you built an armor from your bones
no blow will reach your core
all you have left is iron will
perhaps, to forge a sword

i planned a birthday party
which fixed all that is wrong
so i could just be HAPPY
instead of being strong

it's not hard to be HAPPY
when dark is all i knew
my eyes are HAPPY candy
i'll gladly share with you

i'm wrapped in HAPPY bindings
they hold my head upright
HAPPY sparks burn my fingers
like HAPPY candlelight

my body is a gift box
and when you look inside
i'm HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY
so HAPPY i could die

i feel possessed by my depraved nature
i fly out, seek out, i kill myself for passion
flowers are beautiful until they bear fruit
until the fruit falls and rots and nourishes
if i stay, i will die, don't you know, my dear?
but the rot will never leave my nostrils
you say you don't take me for granted?
tell that to the dead bees on the sidewalk

let the snow fall on me,
i know i can take it, being bitten by the frost before
i've been caressed by the avalanche
i'm familliar with the cold,
it won't hurt if i anticipate it

let the snow fall on me,
i've learned how to rationalize the tremble away
i've lost my fingers and toes,
i can't lose them again
if i let you have your warmth

let the snow cover me,
i'm made for this, unlike you who'll get hypothermia
who isn't built for the snow
i believe in my endurance
i have no trust in your discomfort